Telling your children that you have decided to get divorced can be one of the most difficult conversations you will ever have. Regardless of the ages of your children, it can be painful to learn about plans for a divorce, and it is important to make a plan ahead of time for breaking the news to your kids. Yet as an article in Psychology Today emphasizes, it is very important for your children to learn about the divorce from you rather than hearing rumors about your divorce plans from another relative, or from a neighbor or friend. The following steps can help you to inform your kids about your impending divorce and can allow you to give them the news in a manner that is as painless as possible.
Kids of different ages can take the news about divorce differently, and children with different personality types may need various forms of information and reassurance. The first step in telling your children about your divorce is to make a plan for the conversation with your spouse. If you cannot work together with your spouse to tell your children about the divorce, consider working with a counselor or therapist who can sit in on the conversation to help you plan out the best way to inform your kids.
If possible, you and your spouse should talk to the kids together so that your children understand that you are both committed to co-parenting even if your marriage is not working. When you do plan a time to sit down together with your kids, think about the time and space where you will break the news. It is usually best to tell your kids about divorce plans in a space where they feel comfortable, and to tell them at a time of day where they can take as much time as they need afterward to think or to ask questions.
As you plan what to say, be sure to make clear to your kids that the divorce is not their fault, and that nobody is at fault in the situation. It is also important to plan to provide your kids with as much information as possible about how the divorce may affect the school they attend, their extracurricular activities, and their residence. If you are planning for one spouse to remain in the house and the other to move out, or for both spouses to find new and smaller residences, let your kids know about your plans.
In addition to telling your kids about how things may change, you should also be sure to let them know about things that will remain constant in their lives, including relationships with both parents, friendships through school, extracurricular activities, and so forth.
If you have questions about divorce in general or how to tell your kids about plans for divorce, one of our Orland Park divorce attorneys can assist you. Contact Demetrios N. Dalmares & Associates, Ltd. to learn more about how we can help with your divorce case.
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In a case where Law Office of Demetrios N Dalmares and Associates Ltd. represented Husband: Couple shared ownership in a business, resulting in complex property division issues. After investigation of the couple’s financial history, our client received a much more equitable divorce agreement than what was originally offered.
In a case where Law Office of Demetrios N Dalmares and Associates Ltd. represented Mother: Father became aggressive and violent toward Mother during their separation, prompting her to seek full custody of their children. At trial, the court granted Father supervised parenting time only and Mother was awarded child support.
In a case where Law Office of Demetrios N Dalmares and Associates Ltd. represented Husband: Couple had been locked in a contentious divorce for nearly three years and changed lawyers several times. Law Office of Demetrios N Dalmares and Associates Ltd. provided the experience and organization needed to resolve the case within months, avoiding a trial for our client.
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In a case where Law Office of Demetrios N Dalmares and Associates Ltd. represented Wife: Husband tried to intimidate Wife into a divorce settlement that heavily favored his interests by drawing out the case. Law Office of Demetrios N Dalmares and Associates Ltd. represented Wife through trial, where she received an equitable share of marital assets.
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